Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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