she smelled like a LAN party
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sext me about skeletons
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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