Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
