I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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