I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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