i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
