I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize