I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
