we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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