i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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