I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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