halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
