well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
