I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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