I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
