Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
