Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
