so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
