I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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