I heard we made out
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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