I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
