You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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