i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
