I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
