what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Come on in and take your pants off
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