We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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