He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize