Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
