well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
