oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
