Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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