i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
