I wish I only lived at night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
