Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My life is pants optional.
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