Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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