My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
