we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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