Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
