True but thats because hes a fetus.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
