we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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