Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
