i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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