Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
