Im at strip club and am horny
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
