So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
