What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
