I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize