That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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