My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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