So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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