I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
