That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
