would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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