i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
