I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
