Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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