Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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