is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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