school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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