I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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