i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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