Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
