The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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