im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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