haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
