I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
